Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i now understand why vodka
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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