he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
