my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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