And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I understand Curling. That high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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