dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
