I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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