I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
