I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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