I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
