just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
