After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
