He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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