I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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