dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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