Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sext me about skeletons
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
