so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
