he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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