Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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