I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The beer is more important than you right now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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