She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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