Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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