You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
