She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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