I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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