Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't put those talents on a resume
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
