Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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