i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
