i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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