I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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