I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
