i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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