So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, beer. Big fan.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
