just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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