margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
