you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
we're making bets on your personal life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
