Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
