Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
