so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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