So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
