all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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