You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
