I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
