Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just high enough for therapy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
