I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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