I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
