She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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