My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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