what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
