then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
