If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
