What a fucking waste of an outfit
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
