id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
