These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
